Featured photo by Morgan Harris
If you’re reading Festival Squad, you likely already know how oversaturated the festival industry is. New fests pop up every year, while old ones shutter just as quickly (and often after only a year or two – looking at you, Grandoozy).
With festival prices continuing to rise (not to mention camping fees, food/drinks, and transportation to the fest), choosing which ones to attend can be overwhelming for even the most seasoned festival-goer, especially when the big ones often have similar lineups. We’re here to help – which mainstream fest you should you attend?
Q1: What’s your festival style?
A – The more comfortable, the better – catch me in harem pants and a bikini top/topless.
B – Planned months in advance, with matching EVERYTHING. I’m in a name-brand minidress/romper/onesie (or an open button-down/shorts combo) with strategically placed glitter/makeup and hair that will definitely fall by the time the headliner takes the stage.
C – FULL COSTUME, including face paint and accessories
D – Jean shorts and a tank/vintage band tee
Q2: How do you feel about camping?
A – Fine with me! We’ll all be dirty together by the end of the weekend.
B – Meh – I’ll do it if the rest of my crew is, but wouldn’t mind hitting a hotel party or two.
C – I’d rather stay in a literal haunted house.
D – Nah, I’m down to just cab home after the shows.
Q3: How do you handle hot weather?
A – Cold beer, maybe a hand fan. I’m fine with whatever! A little sweat never hurt anybody.
B – I can deal, but I’m gonna need access to a lounge or tent with A/C at some point.
C – I’d rather have rain (or a ~hurricane~).
D – Not for me – I’ll be chilling in the Hamptons after the summer solstice.
Q4: Favorite festival food?
A – Spicy pie (or any pizza) allll the way!
B – I don’t eat.
C – Gumbo, jambalaya, maybe a beignet or two
D – Food trucks
Q5: Is the festival the only reason you’re in town?
A – Absolutely.
B – I’m here for the fest + fest-related activities (I may or may not wait to show up at festival grounds until the headliner comes on…)
C – Nope! I like mixing my fests with some other touristy activities.
D – I either already live here or came specifically for the fest, but I’ll definitely do a little outside exploring while I’m here.
Q6: Where are you based?
A – East Coast
B – West Coast
C – South
D – Northeast/New England
Mostly As – You’re going to Bonnaroo! My favorite fest, but also one of the hottest/dirtiest experiences ever. Get ready for high-fives, the intense Tennessee sun, and one of the most positive/insane atmospheres ever.
Mostly Bs – Coachella – Get your stylish self to Palm Springs, stat – you’re spending a weekend with beautiful (and sometimes famous) people in a beautiful area. I joke because I’m jealous!
Mostly Cs – Head down to Nola over Halloween weekend for the Voodoo Music + Arts Experience – amazing food, amazing city, amazing holiday <3 Bring an umbrella!
Mostly Ds – Get a jump on festival season with Governor’s Ball, and may the taxicab odds be ever in your favor when getting on/off Randall’s Island.